


Hold Out, Love

by Oh_Hey_Its



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: Drabbles, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 16:58:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Hey_Its/pseuds/Oh_Hey_Its
Summary: Within this twisted sort of symbiosis, they are able to find what they inherently need.





	Hold Out, Love

**Author's Note:**

> My place to stick the random super short stuff I've been writing as I try to work through my writers block and find the time to work on my longer stuff. Hope you enjoy!

When Sara thinks about Tegan, she thinks of home. A bit cliche, maybe, but it's all she's ever known. They were once one, split into two and born together, raised beside the other, built their careers with each other; there has never really been a time in her life that Tegan hasn't been there, if not involved directly than hiding in the shadows, always watching just enough to make her presence known.

 

Tegan represents a sensitive side that Sara has always kept hidden. Toting her dripping heart on her sleeve like some sort of macabre souvenir, Tegan is a swaggering knight of morality and bubbling emotion that can spill over at the most inopportune of times, often impulsively leaping head over heels with little to no thought about the consequences until the dust finally settles and whatever she's done sinks in. 

 

It's always up to Sara to follow behind, the not always diligent partner who meanders stubbornly in her wake, dripping a bloody trail from what should've been crippling injuries. As much as she wants to tell herself that her self-sabotage plans have all failed because she didn't execute them or plan well enough, the truth is always niggling at the back of her brain. Inside, she wants this just as much as Tegan does.

 

Tegan is the epitome of gentleness in bed, despite Sara's need to simply be shoved between the springs of their old bed by the force of the thrusts probing deep inside. Normally it's Sara who's strapped instead for this very reason, the wash of vulnerableness that is Tegan can be experienced in its rawest form in these moments. In the darkness of their room, once the curtains have been drawn and lights turned out, Sara takes the time to remove all of that obsessively maintained armour piece by piece to reveal the quivering woman inside.

 

And then it is Sara's turn to submit to the same, staring down at the floor as Tegan's feather-like touch unties her half-windsor knot and slips the from the starched collar it hides beneath, carefully unbuttoning her shirt slowly, one at a time and pushes it from her shoulders, slipping the trousers from her thin waist.

 

It's not their bodies they're ashamed of, it's their minds. They are inherently flawed, conscious of the irreparability of their actions but too far gone to halt them. Sara loves Tegan, needs Tegan like she needs air to breathe. Tegan needs Sara, loves Sara unconditionally without qualms. Within this twisted sort of symbiosis they are able to find what they inherently need.

 

-

 

Since they've have their own bus, things have been easier. Tour had always been the most difficult part of their experiences with one another, so close in body and yet light-years away from one another within their own heads. There was always too much of a chance in being discovered, of prying eyes accidentally stumbling upon them in one of the various compromising positions they so often can find themselves in if left to their own devices for too long. But now they have a safe haven to return to in the blank nothingness of time between shows, blurry images of scrawny trees and the grey washes of concrete shooting past endlessly out the tinted windows.

 

Their bunks are tight but they make do with what they have, contorting their bodies until they mesh together in that just-right way they must have perfected while growing in the womb. Sara likes to run her fingers through Tegan's shorter locks when they are curled together in this fashion, Tegan's soft snores tickling her neck. Tegan has always been able to fall asleep anywhere, from the times when they were teenagers riding the bus to school or a gig and continuing to this day with their new found habit of melding their skin together on top of twisted sheets; inhabitants of their own self-induced claustrophobia.

 

-

 

Tegan could sit for hours and watch Sara read; enraptured the tilt of her jaw as she leans in when she reaches a particularly satisfying or gripping passage, how she's mastered sipping wine or coffee without having to tear her eyes from the pages, how her new reading glasses slide down her nose slowly until she finally becomes fed up and slides them back up again. Tegan's favorite moments, though, are when Sara deems something worthy of being rehashed and read aloud. Her voice, tinted with passion, paints the mundane with something far more beautiful, whole worlds and perspectives taking shape through the medium of Sara's soft sweet voice. It makes Tegan sleepy and content just to think about.

 

-

 

Their kisses always start out slow, a hand sliding slowly upwards to cup a breast, a jaw. Tegan always gasps and moans lowly when Sara leaves little pecks up and down her jawline, Sara preferring enough focused effort on her neck to leave marks for days that proves she's Tegan's every time she looks in the mirror.

 

The times they lay next to the other, basking in the afterglow of their orgasms and togetherness, are Sara's favorite. Side by side lying loosely on their backs, ribs and hip bones poking upwards against skin, as they slowly catch their breath, sweat cooling and drying on their skin. Their connection is at its most palpable during times like these, Tegan's tanned hand creeping across damp sheets to find Sara's own, fingers interlocking and becoming interchangeable. 

 

Eventually Tegan will inch her tired body over enough that she can rest her head on Sara's chest or throw an arm and a leg over her her body. Sara may grumble a little at first, just to keep face, before eventually submitting, one hand finding Tegan's back or the nape of her neck to rub absentmindedly. Usually they'll fall asleep tangled like this, separation impossible even in sleep, welcomed because they'll never know anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always super appreciated and quite motivating ;P


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